Today I has been spent sat at my desk staring into my laptop pretending to write reports. I have tapped keys, frowned, pretended to be engrossed and missed conversations, nodded and laughed when necessary, looked preplexed, confused, consulted notebooks for imaginary facts, shifted from one bum cheek to the other to stop them from hurting, drunk tea, coffee, tea, coffee, tea, coffee, rubbed my chin, scratched my head, looked to the strip lights for inspiration, fobbed off phone calls, slacked my tie, filled my stapler, yawned, stretched, chewed my lip, bitten my fingernails, eaten my lunch at my desk. 8 hours searching the internet god I'm knackered.